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“Your soulmate is not someone that comes into your life peacefully. It is who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionize your world in a second…”
-Anonymous

Anonymous said: My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

eluting:

an ideal date would be eating takeout dinner in our pjs while watching Netflix and you play with my hair

irlyandere:

Been waiting a year to post this.

irlyandere:

Been waiting a year to post this.

hqlines:

Not ours! Contact if yours!

hqlines:

Not ours! Contact if yours!

lalalafrickyou:

bloody-nips:

i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck

“her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted